The Best Parenting Books I’ve Read (So Far)

I’m an avid reader and love to soak up nonfiction books in addition to my frequent fiction reads. Since becoming a mom almost five years ago, I’ve picked up a fair share of parenting books that have helped shape my parenting philosophy. As a Christian mom, many of the titles I’ve picked up have been encouraging in raising children with a foundation of faith, but I’ve found many non-Christian resources extremely helpful as well!

Also, just a reminder that the links below are affiliate links — we get a small commission when you purchase after clicking on the link. A little goes a long way, and we’d appreciate your support!

Here’s a list of my favorites:

1. Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley - this book centers on creating habits for yourself and your home. It offers easy-to-implement practices that you can start right away. It’s an easy read with simple applications after each chapter. We’ve already implemented many of the suggested practices - most recently, saying a prayer of blessing over our kids before bed. I’d highly recommend the read as a Christian parent.

2. Raising Passionate Jesus Followers by Phil and Diane Comer - I’ve gone to conferences that Phil and Diane have led and listened to numerous podcasts through their ministry, Intentional Parents. They have incredible wisdom from what they learned as young parents and are encouraging to listen to and learn from. This book is divided into stages (birth through early adulthood) and offers practical advice tailored to each stage. They’ve encouraged me to embrace more fun in parenting, as I tend more towards expecting rules to be followed above having fun. There’s totally a place for both, but this book has helped me lean into fun more than I naturally would have. This book is another fantastic resource for Christian parents!

3. Hunt, Gather, Parent, by Michaeleen Doucleff - this book changed how I view parenting! Michaeleen travels around the world to learn more about how different cultures parent, challenging the modern/Western parenting norms. And I was intrigued and inspired by the principles these non-Western families held. I’m probably due for another read-through!

4. The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies - I went to a Montessori school, trained as a Montessori teacher, and worked for many years at a Montessori preschool, so I’m a huge fan of all things Montessori! This book helps break down many of Maria Montessori’s philosophies that can be used directly with toddlers. The author also has a book for babies and school-aged children! As a random bonus, the book's formatting is beautiful, too.

5. Satisfied by Alyssa Joy Bethke - this one may not be directly for parenting, but I found many of the stories to be so encouraging along the journey of motherhood. The chapters are short and easy to read. I read this with some mom friends and found it encouraging to discuss each chapter topic together.

6. Risen Motherhood by Emily Jensen and Laura Wifler - this book helps view motherhood through the lens of the gospel. It tackles topics like community, income-producing work, schooling choices, and more. I read this book with my community and found it more insightful when we read and discussed it together.

7. The Six Needs of Every Child— this book examines children's innate needs and how parents can meet them where they are developmentally. Each chapter has space for reflecting on current wins and struggles in each area (delight, support, boundaries, protection, comfort, and equipping) and how to grow and improve. It's a great scientific-based Christian perspective!

8. Take Back Your Family - this book reframes our current culture of family and individualism and analyzes what it would look like to treat family as a team. This book offers a fun, different perspective of support and camaraderie within families instead of typical sibling “me-against-you” mentalities.

9. Tech-Wise Family—this book is an incredible guide for properly utilizing technology with children and the importance of prioritizing high-quality, non-screen, hands-on activities instead. I highly recommend this read!

10. The Anxious Generation— while this isn’t specifically a parenting book, it is packed with helpful ideas on how and when to introduce smartphones and social media to kids. Most of the book covers how Gen X has become one of the most anxious generations of modern times, but the practical tips are parenting GOLD!

I’ll be adding to this list as I read more! I have so many on my list, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

(updated 8/24!)

What is Spiritual Formation and Why Does It Matter?

Christian spiritual formation is defined as the process of being conformed to the image of Jesus for God’s glory and for the sake of others (2 Corinthians 3:17-18). The Holy Spirit is our teacher and helper who guides us to be formed into a person who reflects God to the world in word and deed. As children of God grow in His likeness and character, others can receive the graces of God and have the opportunity to know God, in part, by the actions, words, and life of His children.

As we grow in spiritual maturity, we grow into persons of love who are becoming more like Jesus. Some character identifiers would be compassion, love of God and others, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, and being quick to listen and slow to anger. It is important to note that the goal is not just outward behavior but rather, inner change that results in an outward change. As a Christian, becoming like Christ always includes abiding and submission. It is God who works in us as we place ourselves under His loving care and direction.

There are many pastors and Christian leaders who would agree that Christ-likeness has been on a decline in the western Church in the past several decades. The number of comfortable, consumeristic, and unchanged professed Christians seems to be on the rise. You may even find yourself relating to those who go to church but whose lives are little different than non-Christians around you. There can be a host of reasons that a Christian is not showing signs of growth and change. Here I will briefly list a few roadblocks and then focus on solutions. 

Road Blocks to Spiritual Growth

Roadblocks to spiritual growth can be varied but here are a few that have been common to my experience for me and others I know personally.

1. Lack of desire or apathy

2. A lack of intentionality in spiritual matters

3. Need for healing of past hurts- in and/or outside of the Church

4. A distracted or noisy life

5. Individualism

6. A focus on outward behavior without inward change

7. Pride

Solutions

At Intentionally Ordinary, we are big on committing to small steps in the right direction which over time can make a big impact.  Here are some solutions to the above roadblocks. The solutions are more in quantity than the roadblocks! So many options to help. Again, these are tips that have helped me or others I know personally.

1. Pray for desire! Look up verses about desiring God and transformation (John 4:13-14, Isaiah 26:9, Psalm 73:25, 42:2, 143:8 are a few).

2. Find friends or a community that is excited about being disciples of Christ.

3. Read books about spiritual formation or books about the lives of those who are or have lived a Jesus-filled life.

4. Make intentional time in your life for things that are important to your growth.  This could mean establishing a routine of prayer, Bible reading/study, or worship. This might mean committing to joining a discipleship group, prayer meeting, or regular church attendance. This could mean incorporating spiritual disciplines into your regular routine.

5. Seek out healing from a pastor, soul friend, or Spiritual Director. Pray for God to bring healing in your life.

6. Choose to remove or decrease unhealthy distractions in your life: social media, online games, shopping, and news feeds. Replace distractions with time to spend with Jesus through prayers, reading/study, worship, service to others, time in Christian community, or other disciplines.

7. Admit and confess those areas of your life controlled by individualism.  How much of your life is informed by the word of God vs culture and your own thoughts/opinions? Choose to listen to the teachings of Jesus with the intent of doing them. Cultivate a heart and mind of submission to the way of Jesus.

8. Identify and confess areas of your life that are inconsistent. Do you act one way with one group of people and differently with another group? Do you try hard to be like Jesus on the outside while feeling less than Jesus on the inside?  Seek to live by the strength of the Holy Spirit instead of your own strength.

9. Seek out a healthy community of Believers and engage with them. One of the best pieces of advice that have been life-changing for me is to intentionally be in relationships with those older and wiser AND with those who are younger in age and faith. We should always be being poured into while we are pouring out to others.

10. Do regular pride checks. Learn to identify areas of pride in yourself. Seek to be humble in heart, mind, and soul. Choose to operate in the areas that God has gifted you in.

11. When you learn ways to grow in your relationship with God and ways to grow in spiritual formation — do them! Let what you learn go from your head to your heart.

12. Seek God and seek God some more! He IS the solution!

Books on Spiritual Formation

If you’d really like to dive in, below is a list of books that can help you understand more about spiritual formation and your part in it.

1. The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God, Dallas Willard

2. Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ, Dallas Willard

3. Hearing God, Dallas Willard

4. Surrender to Love, David Benner

5. Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster

6. Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation, M. Robert Mulholland Jr.

7. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, John Mark Comer

Further Resources

We’ve created a few guides to help you along in your spiritual formation journey! Check out our Retreat Guide if you’d like to take that step and set aside intentional time with God or our Habit Formation Guide if you want to start developing regular rhythms of connecting with God in your everyday life.

My hope is that you will start to take steps in the direction of spiritual formation. Remember it is God and the Holy Spirit that does the work as we submit and seek to be formed by Him, into His likeness in character, for our sake and the sake of the world!

Enjoying the journey together!

Valerie

The Best Easter Books for Kids and Adults

* this post contains affiliate links for products we use and love

Books are always an amazing way to immerse yourself and your kids into the season. It can align our hearts to listen to God in the rhythms of the church calendar or just attune our minds to the beauty of the season around us.

Whether you’re shopping for Easter basket fillers, or seeking to draw near to God in this season, I hope you’ll find this list helpful as we approach Easter!

Our favorite Easter books for kids

For babies and toddlers:

1. We love this peek through book. There’s a lot more books in this series, but finding bunny is a fun adventure for young kids.

2. This bunny finger puppet book is a blast for young children!

3. My kids are still obsessed with sound books (they’re 4 and 2 right now), and I just found out about this new Easter sounds book! Press the super-easy-to-press buttons to hear church bells ringing, ducks quacking, and more.

For 3+:

1. We love these craft books! They’re packed full of fun activities to do together. Younger kids can have help from adults, or older kids can craft all on their own.

2. This wipe-clean Easter activity book comes with a pen. Perfect for travel and use at a restaurant!

3. Sticker books are also perfect to use whenever you need them to focus on a task while waiting. This littler stickers one is perfect for little hands.

4. Magic painting books are a HUGE hit in our house! Sometimes my kids will just plop down and paint to whole book. This first painting is aimed at younger kids, while older kids can tackle the designs of the more complex magic painting books better.

Find the complete list of Easter titles from my brand partner, Paper Pie here! There’s also basket bundles available as well!

Our favorite Easter, Lent, and Passover books for adults

1. Christ in the Passover by Ciel and Moishe Rosen — written by Jewish believers in Christ, this book is a good source for connecting the symbolism of the Passover (Old Testament) to Jesus (New Testament).

2. Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright— Bible scholar N.T. Wright does a thorough job of showing how the implications of Christ’s resurrection impacts our lives today and why Christians should be agents of transformation.

3. Every Moment Holy, Volume 1 by Douglas Kaine McKelvey — this is simply a book of prayers for every day ordinary moments. Open it up every day or every once in a while, either way it’s an amazing resource to guide prayer in the ordinariness of life.

4. Prayer: Forty Days of Practice by Justin McRoberts and Scott Erickson — I recently started reading this book and have been so encourage by the encouragement to pray. Perfect for the season of Lent, or anytime really!

We hope you love and use these books as a way to connect with the season. Happy Easter friends!

The Best Christmas Books for Young Kids

We love bringing books into our home based on seasonal topics - oceans and sea creatures in the summer, love and friendships for Valentine’s day, pumpkins and bats and spiders for fall, and Christmas books for the last month of the year.

We’ve rounded up our favorite Christmas books for our the most wonderful time of the year. Some we’ve had since I (Alisa) was little and some we’ve added to our collection in recent years.

Keep reading for links to buy each book and a little description of each and why we love them for our young kids.

Here are some of our favorites from PaperPie Books:

1. ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Pop-Up - this is the classic tale we all know and love, with beautifully illustrated pop-up pictures! We love being able to pass down timeless Christmas stories, and this book from PaperPie brings this classic to life for young kids with fun pop-ups on every page.

2. The Twinkly, Twinkly Christmas Tree and Twinkly, Twinkly Nativity - both of these books light up story time with bright LED lights! The first is a story about searching for Christmas lights and the second is about the beautiful stars in the sky at the time of Jesus’ birth. These make bedtime reading so magical!

3. The Nutcracker Sound Book - I grew up listening to the musical score from the Nutcracker every year during Christmas and attended the ballet as well! So this book is so special for me to share with my kids — they get to experience the sounds of the Nutcracker right along with the story.

4. Peek Inside the Nativity - the story of Jesus’ birth becomes a delight to read with beautifully cut out holes to see through each page. Peek at animals hiding in the stable or spy innkeepers watching over their inn. So much joy and mystery to experience in this story about the true meaning of Christmas.

Some more favorites from other publishers:

1. Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree - I (Alisa) LOVED this book as a child. I don’t necessarily know what drew me in with this story, but I was so delighted to read about this grand Christmas tree that Mr. Willowby bought. His tree is too tall for this house, so he chops off the top. Someone finds it, but it’s too tall for their space as well. And on it goes down through bears and foxes and rabbits and mice. This one Christmas tree winds up blessing so many little families - what a Christmas joy!

2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - it wouldn’t be Christmas without this classic to read and sing about! We have this edition from A Little Golden Book with the cutest vintage illustrations. Any edition would be lovely to add to your Christmas shelf!

3. Together—I absolutely fell in love with this book, which highlights the beauty of spending time together above receiving gifts during the Christmas season. That’s truly what it’s about, right? Family time, laughter shared, cookies baked, and memories made. I love the simple reminder of presence and family in this book.

4. Where’s Santa Claus? - this lift-the-flap board book is perfect for babies and toddlers. It has soft, felted flaps and fun illustrations. It would make the perfect stocking stuffer!

   *note- I’ve linked all of these to Amazon, but we highly recommend shopping secondhand for books or supporting your local bookstore!

If your Christmas books aren’t already out, we hope you find a fun book to bring home and read with your kids this season! Snuggle up by the fire, grab some hot cocoa, and soak in the memories of reading with your little ones.