Neighbor: Giving the Free (and Freeing) Gift of Empathy

I think it is safe to say that most, if not all, of us desire a life of health and happiness. We want it for ourselves, our families, and our loved ones. We might even say we wish health and happiness for our world. Today, I’d like to take you on a path to health and happiness, which starts with a little known and often misunderstood word — empathy.

Empathy is a psychological term meaning the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another. It’s being able to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. 

We will look at how to give empathy, what it is, and what it is not. I will show you how easy it is to love your neighbor by intentionally giving empathy. I will also show you how giving the gift of empathy not only helps the receiver but also has many positive benefits for the giver. Empathy is a win-win for me, you, and our world!

The opportunity for empathy happens with human connection. Human connection is vital to our health and happiness. Many studies show that “prosocial behaviors such as generosity, compassion, and empathy foster the well-being of all parties involved.” Empathy is a human kindness. It is acknowledging the shared experience of our human condition.

What it looks like to give empathy:

• Empathy takes intentionality- an intention to listen, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and to respond with understanding.

• Empathy can happen in a casual setting, such as an exchange with the clerk at the grocery store. It can happen in intimate conversations with a spouse or loved one.

• Empathy might sound like: “That is hard/challenging/difficult” or “That’s a lot to go through.”

Empathy is:

• listening

• choosing to see through the others’ perspective

• being willing to acknowledge that we can only see from our limited perspective in any given situation

• a kindness that helps others to be seen, heard, and valued

• a gift from one human to another

• a kindness on the path to love

Empathy is not:

• emeshing

• enabling

• condoning bad behavior

• compassion (though closely related)

• sympathy (though closely related)

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

— Amelia Earhart

The benefits of receiving empathy:

• being seen, heard, and valued by another human being

• feeling understood

• feeling cared for

• feelings of peace

• feelings of connectedness and identification with another

• feelings of hope, healing, and worthiness

• feelings of happiness amid difficulty

Benefits of giving empathy:

• increased humility

• the feeling of doing good towards another human being

• connectedness

• selflessness

• Often, what we say to others is what we say to ourselves. If you suffer from being critical of others or yourself, giving empathy is a path to being more accepting and loving towards yourself.

I hope you will look for opportunities to offer empathy. When you intentionally give empathy, you love the person in front of you. You are loving your neighbor. You are adding to the flourishing of your fellow human. You are participating in human kindness. You are making the world better, one connection at a time.