Changing the World One Ear at a Time
Valerie shares some tips for learning how to intentionally listen to others (and listen well).
Most if not all of us have experienced the disappointing experience of not being heard, understood or validated. Maybe yours was a difficult conversation with a spouse, a leader in your workplace or a close friend. Maybe you were at a doctor. visit and really needed the physician to patiently listen to why you were there in their office, but instead you left feeling like a number. As humans, one of our most basic needs is to be heard and understood.
Our current western world and cultural climate is riddled with anxiety, depression, loneliness, anger, fear and disunity. Sometimes we can feel helpless as to how to make a difference. Today, I would like to suggest a simple way to make a positive impact on those around you no matter what your situation is or where you are: become a better listener.
Here at Intentionally Ordinary, we are all about making small, intentional steps to bring more goodness and peace to our homes and those around us. So today, I’d like to offer some simple ways that you can become a better listener for the greater good of those around us.
“Listening is one of the best gifts we can give or receive. Listening changes things”
The list below is not in any particular order. Please know that this list includes areas that I am working on myself — we are in this together! The purpose of the list is to help us identify one or more areas where we can make a small change that over time will have a big impact on loving others well.
simply be purposeful about giving your attention to anyone who talks to you
ignore dings from your smart devices unless absolutely necessary — utilizing Do Not Disturb is helpful
control any body language that “says” I am in a hurry when someone is talking to you
refrain from texting while someone is talking to you
avoid interrupting
practice listening to others with different opinions than your own without judgment
redirect your attention if you find you are not being present to whomever is speaking
listen with the intent to understand
The above list focuses primarily on our listening. The list below offers some ideas on responding in ways that indicate we are or have listened well.
offer appropriate positive body language: eye contact, leaning in, facial expressions
offer empathy to those who are hurting
repeat important points
end on a positive note with something like, “thanks for sharing”
I am sure you can add to this list and I hope that you do! As you pay attention to how you listen you will be surprised at how you can intentionally show others love and respect simply by improving your listening skills.
It’s more about treating others the way we like to be treated. Esteeming others as important. Being kind to our fellow humans. Making the world a better place one ear at a time.
Enjoying the journey together! — Valerie