The Importance of Praise and Thanksgiving

“Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love and His wonderful works for the human race. For He has satisfied the thirsty and filled the hungry with good things.”

— Psalm 107:8-9 CSB

In September 1620, 102 men, women, and children left England to sail to the new land known as America. By the Spring of the following year, over half of those people had died from illness and deprivation. The next Fall, after a successful harvest, the remaining pilgrims celebrated a three-day feast to thank God for his faithfulness and goodness to them. This is the origin of what we celebrate every 4th Thursday in November- Thanksgiving.

One of those pilgrims, William Bradford, who sailed on the Mayflower to America, quotes portions of several Psalms, including Psalm 107, in his journal regarding the journey that he had experienced. His journal entry is a praise and thanksgiving for God and what he had provided for them, even amid struggles and loss.

As we approach Thanksgiving 2023, over 400 years from the story of the pilgrims and our country’s beginnings, it seems like a good time to consider the importance of praise and thanksgiving, specifically to our creator, God.

Both praise and thanksgiving are commanded in the Bible, but there is an important difference. Prayer, worship, praise, and thanksgiving are often intertwined, but at its simplest, praise can be described as acknowledging and appreciating who God is, and thanksgiving is thanking God for things he has done.

Psalm 145:3 tells us, Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. (ESV) 

We are commanded to praise God and know he is worthy of praise, but how often do we do it? Right now, can you think of any attributes of God worthy of praise? His faithfulness, provision, generosity, and patience are a few that come to my mind. The Bible is full of verses telling us of his attributes, and thinking about these is a wonderful way to know him better and grow in faith. When we take the time each day to praise him, it helps remind us that we are merely human and that He is a great God for us and with us. Sending this message to our souls is reassuring and can bring peace even in distress.

“We can always find a reason to praise. Situations change for better and for worse, but God’s worth never changes.”

— Matt Redman

We are also commanded to thank God for all he has done. Right now, can you think of things God has done or is doing in your life? Giving me breath to live, unlimited forgiveness, and hearing and answering my prayers are a few things that come to mind. Humans are forgetful, and it’s important that we remember to thank God for the things he has done for ourselves, others, and our world. 

When we accept the invitation to praise and thank God, our thoughts focus on His power and goodness, among other things. In a world that is so often calling our attention to things that bring worry, anxiety, and distress, you can see how obeying these simple commands can bring good things to your mental health and the health of your very soul.

Entering into and participating in praise and thanksgiving is simply a choice. God’s commands are for our flourishing, but we are given the freedom to participate or not. When I look at the responses of people like William Bradford, who endured great hardship and yet are able to respond with praise and thanksgiving, I can see that being intentional to make these a part of my daily life is not only easy but they are also very valuable for a life well lived.

Here’s to a journey filled with praise and thanksgiving!

Spiritual Health and Wholeness with the Enneagram

Have you heard of the enneagram? I first heard about it at a Christmas party. I was intrigued by everyone laughing and joking about their “number.” Soon after that party, I took assessments, bought books, and listened to podcasts about this ancient tool used for self-awareness. Many years later, I am excited to have been learning how the enneagram is a valuable tool for spiritual formation, leading to health and wholeness.

Before I start, I want to let you know that if you are a Christian and are against the Enneagram, I am not here to talk you into liking it. If you are here today to learn all the ins and outs of this tool, that is not what you will find here. (But I do want to encourage you to investigate.) If you are here to learn some basics about how the Enneagram, appropriately used, can help you grow in knowledge about yourself, help you grow closer to Jesus, and help you show empathy, compassion, and love to others, then please keep reading.

As I mentioned, the Enneagram is a tool. It is not a necessary resource for humans to flourish. It cannot transform you into Christ-likeness. God does the transforming. A.J. Sherrill, author of The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation, writes, “...as a tool, it has proven to be incredibly useful in revealing what motivates our behavior as humans and in showing whether our choices are leading to health and wholeness.”

Here, we are going to take a brief look at how understanding your number or type can help you to 1) learn more about yourself, 2) grow closer to Jesus, and 3) learn to love others in a more like Jesus does

How The Enneagram Can Help You Learn About Yourself

Once you discover your number, you will find that your personality type has strengths and weaknesses, a core fear, a core desire, and more. In discovering your number, you can learn how you operate in health and unhealth. With this information, you can learn what changes will help you move toward health and wholeness.

For instance, I learned I am a 2w1 (Two, wing One). A two is most commonly called the Helper and is in the heart triad. A Two is often described as loving, caring, and a befriender. Strengths of Twos include being thoughtful, self-sacrificing, and generous. Weaknesses of Twos include neglecting their own needs, being manipulative to get their needs met, and being passive-aggressive when unappreciated.

In learning about myself, I can learn how to make different choices that move me into health and wholeness and closer to the person God intended me to be: the person who is secure in God’s unshakeable love.

How the Enneagram Can Help You Grow Close to Jesus

The Enneagram shows us our core fear, desire, weakness, and longing in each type. When we know ourselves, we can better appreciate how God made us and ask him to help us with our weaknesses, fears, desires, and longing. The goal is to have these areas of our life more in line with his originally intended design for us as image bearers of God. The Enneagram gives us a roadmap to where we need God’s healing most. 

As Christian leaders are experiencing the Enneagram as a helpful tool in Christian life, more and more resources are being made available that pair up specific spiritual practices and scriptures to aid in healthy spiritual formation. 

For instance, Ones struggle with the need to be perfect and right. Scripture that may be helpful to meditate on would include Romans 5:8, “..but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” and Romans 8:1, “Therefore there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” Spiritual practices particularly helpful for Ones include walks in nature and abandoning outcomes to God.

In learning more about myself and God, I can grow closer to Jesus, growing in my understanding of his love for me, my love for him, and my love for others.

How the Enneagram Can Help You Love Others Like Jesus

Learning to love like Jesus is a lifetime endeavor. God is working in us to form us to be a blessing to and for the sake of others. On the path to loving others like God are characteristics such as compassion and empathy. When we understand how people with each of the nine numbers approach life with their core fears, desires, longings, and weaknesses, we can be more understanding, compassionate, and empathetic. We can grow in a greater appreciation of our fellow man; each image bearers of God, with their specific struggles and needs. 

This tool can improve our relationships at home, work, and church. With this tool, we can intentionally communicate with one another with each person's type (number) in mind.

When we have a basic understanding of another’s core weakness, fear, desire, and longing, we can be more patient and understand how they approach life. 

Further Resources

I hope you can see what a valuable tool the Enneagram can be. Of course, like anything else, it needs to be used in a way that brings health and wholeness and is not abused to bring hurt and pain. It is a tool that can be just fun and interesting, but it can also help you thrive in your relationships. It is a tool that can lead to a life filled with more peace and less stress. 

If you want to learn more, I have listed several of my favorite books below, describing their particular focus. I hope you will find one (or two!) that will help you along your journey.

1. Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith by Bill and Kristi Gaultiere — This is my newest enneagram book, written by the founders of Soul Shepherding, where I am receiving my Spiritual Direction training. As the title says, this book shows you ways to grow emotionally and spiritually through understanding the Enneagram. It is so well organized, practical, and easy to read.

2. The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation by AJ Sherrill — This book shows you how knowing ourselves can make us more like Jesus. This book helps show the reader how their personality type shapes their faith journey.

3. The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut — This was my first book on the Enneagram, and as the title states, it is complete and thorough. If you want to be more of an Enneagram expert, this may be the book for you. The book includes topics you don't find everywhere, such as information about subtypes and antitypes. Clear and comprehensive. 

4. Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord — Gospel-centered and focused on the marriage relationship, this book is very practical and thorough in helping you understand how to better be in a relationship with another number. It benefits those with marriage in the near future or those who have been married for decades.

5. The Enneagram in Love and Work by Helen Palmer — This is not a book that I have read cover to cover. Still, it has been constructive and insightful, particularly in helping me understand better the dynamics of working relationships. It is excellent for those who are in leadership or who work in team environments.

Being intentional to take the time to learn about yourself and others for the Kingdom of God is time well spent. I hope what you learn will be as helpful in everyday life as it has been for me.

The Old/New Principle: How We Can Gain Wisdom From the Past and Present

As the summer season is coming to a close, along with the wedding season, I am reminded of the wedding rhyme that says, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe.” The ancient rhyme originated in England in the Victorian era and was meant to bring good luck to marriage. Although I’m not a big believer in luck, I think this is a fun tradition and one I partook in at my wedding ceremony many years ago.

Today, I’d like to look at the wisdom in the phrase “something old, something new.” In a culture that always draws our attention to what is new, there is wisdom in remembering and learning from the old. In the older generation, a wish for the old (the way things used to be) and a temptation to resist what is new often grows. The wisdom lies in living and learning from both the old and the new.

I have found that some of the most mature, vibrant, and growing Christians have been those that live out the wisdom of the old and the new. Below are some ways you can lean into this life habit which brings more learning, fulfillment, and understanding. Let us intentionally choose to learn and grow from those things and people who are new or young, as well as to learn from those things or people who are old.

“We are all made of stories.”

Areas to apply the old/new principle:

BOOKS: Famed author C.S. Lewis once said, “It is a good rule after reading a new book, never allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.” I’ve never tried that, but I have also read that every 5th book should be old or a classic. Classic usually refers to a book 20 years or older, but it can also be a book or books that have been widely read in the past (not necessarily 20 years or more).

One area I have found to be very helpful is reading books that are not necessarily old but about people who lived long ago. Reading about those living in different periods, places, and cultures is instructive. In Christianity, it is life-giving and perspective-changing to read from the saints of old. When Hebrews chapter 12 talks about “being surrounded by so great a cloud of witness,” it refers to the Old Testament saints, and now over two thousand years later, can refer to those who have gone before us, 50, 100, or more years ago. 

Here are some books to help us live out the old/new principle:

That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea by Marc Randolph — Written by the co-founder and first CEO, this book goes back to the beginnings of Netflix in 1997. A good book for helping one understand the period in the tech world where start-up was an everyday word.

The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Olympics by Daniel James Brown — A great story that just in the telling of the story gives the reader a good understanding of life in America in the 30s and the events that would change the world forever. 

50 People Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Spiritual Giants of the Faith by Warren W Wiersbe — Inspiring stories 4-6 pages long on each of the 50 people. This is a great book to help pique your interest in reading about some old saints. Contains suggestions for further reading as well.

RELATIONSHIPS: Many years ago, I read in pastor/author Chip Ingram’s book Good to Great In God’s Eyes that it was important for Christians to be in a relationship with someone older and someone younger as well as with those in your age group. As I became and continue to be intentional about my relationships in this way, I have found this to be a model that I highly recommend. For me, someone older is around the same age as my mother or older, and someone younger is an adult who could be my daughter. I have gained so much wisdom and understanding from both groups of friends. This is a model where all parties learn and grow from each other's insights and life experiences. It’s also a model seen throughout the Bible. I like to imagine Mary and Elizabeth and how they both gained wisdom, courage, and encouragement from one another. 

BIBLE READING: Many Bible reading plans, whether daily or yearly, often include reading from the Old and New Testaments. Another fun study is to read the New Testament but find the Old Testament references as they arise. There are approximately 250 references from the Old Testament in the New. You can find various resources for the list of references on the internet.

This principle is also helpful for work, understanding and learning about our cultural context, and product development. 

My hope for you is that if you are a person who tends to seek the new that you will intentionally include the old, and if you are a person who desires primarily the old, you will intentionally also seek out the new. This deliberate shift can bring wisdom, understanding, and encouragement to your ordinary daily life. 

Soul Care: The Road to Knowing God

I recently came out of a six-month journey through the book of Philippians. It was a slow journey where I took small portions of Scripture and meditated on them. I would use the Lectio Divina process to reflect, pray through and seek God’s direction for my life with these small portions, week after week, month after month. 

After this time in Philippians, Paul’s deep love for Jesus struck me like never before. As a Pharisee, Paul spent much of his life knowing about God. But when Paul encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus, he began his journey to experientially knowing God.

Even as Christians, we can share a similar experience with the Apostle Paul, where we know much about God without robust growth in knowing God personally and intimately. 

Learning about God and how He has revealed himself in the Bible is essential. But how can we go from knowing about God to knowing Him?

1. Know Jesus — the Bible tells us that to have peace with God, we must know Jesus for who He is. We need to know Him as God come in human flesh, fully God and fully human.

2. Know the Bible — The Bible Project describes the Bible as “a unified story that leads to Jesus.” Knowing, reading, and studying the Bible is a lifelong pursuit in understanding who God is and who I am.

3. Seek to know God — ideally, we seek to know God as soon as we come to know Jesus, but we often find ourselves knowing about Him instead. 

Here are some intentional ways we can grow in our knowing God:

1. Ask Him. Let God know that you want to know Him. If your desire is not what you would like, ask Him for that too.  

2. Make time and space for spending intentional time with God. Practice soul training exercises like taking Sabbath, silence, gratitude, lectio divina, and margin.

3. Live a life of faith. How are you living today that requires faith in God? What evidence is there that you trust in God and not just yourself?

4. Surround yourself with a healthy community of believers. God’s intent has always been community — healthy community. Healthy community is not perfect, but is identified by love, encouragement, and a desire to be like Jesus.

5. Read The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith. An easy-to-read book that helps you identify false narratives about God while encouraging spiritual practices to help you grow.

6. Read Knowing God by J.I. Packer. A Christian classic that is both theological and practical.

7. Grow in prayer. Prayer, at its simplest, is talking to God. Remember to end your prayer with a time of waiting and listening for a response from the Holy Spirit. How is God inviting you to participate with Him today? An excellent resource for this is Practicing the Way’s Prayer Practice with its companion book, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools, by Tyler Staton.

Knowing God is a journey that can bring peace, joy, and contentment to your soul as you live your everyday life. 

Here’s to enjoying the journey together!

Rejuvenate Your Soul: Living in the Easy Yoke

Could your soul use a refresh, revamp, or some rejuvenation?

I think many of us would say yes. Many of us would admit that our souls are tired, worn out, and need an answer to that problem. The good news is that the answer to a soul needing rejuvenation could be as easy as checking on your yoke and making a few simple adjustments. But first, let’s look at what a yoke is and what Jesus means when he uses the term “easy yoke.”

When Jesus was here on earth, teaching his disciples, he said, 

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest [renewal, blessed quiet] for your souls.” (Amplified Bible)

Those who heard those words would be familiar with a yoke at that time. They would call to mind a wooden beam between two oxen (or other animals) that would enable them to pull or carry a heavy load by equally distributing the weight across their shoulders. Those listeners would also be familiar with the yoke as a metaphor for service or submission.

But what does that mean for us today?

Perhaps it is helpful to look at Eugene Peterson’s The Message, which says:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Jesus offers a way of being that results in a rested soul and an internal sense of freedom or lightness, regardless of external circumstances. He is offering himself — a humble, gentle teacher who can show you the way to the kind of life intended for those living in the kingdom of God. Life is often challenging, but the easy yoke is an easier way to do hard things.

This is an invitation that needs to be accepted!

And yet, in a sense, I think many of us, possibly unintentionally, don’t accept the invitation. Or maybe we don’t know what to do or how to do it. Sometimes we intentionally take Jesus’ easy yoke, but over time, we lose our way and find ourselves yoked up with something or someone other than Jesus. Sometimes as we’re going along, we can make certain decisions or do certain things and find ourselves no longer yoked to the easy yoke of Jesus and discover that we are yoked to the lifestyle of Instagram or have yoked up to what our pastor is preaching, or to what our boss expects of us.

We all yoke up with something or someone. We can yoke up with work, influencers, success, and culture, to name a few.

Perhaps you are yoked to Jesus, but your soul still feels worn and tired. If that is the case, here are some areas that may help you identify where some intentional change is needed:

Work(ing)- do you feel the urge or need to earn God’s love? Do you try to look good on the outside, needing to prove yourself to others? If this is a normal feeling for you, you may be carrying the burden of work. You may need to replace lies about earning love with the truth of the unconditional, never-ending love of Jesus.

Under commitment- Dallas Willard wrote, “The general human failing is to want what is right and important, but at the same time not to commit to the kind of life that will produce the action we know to be right and the condition we want to enjoy.” This can be a case of wanting the easy yoke life but being unwilling to commit intentionally to spiritual disciplines, spending time with Jesus, or following his teachings.

Control- there are many reasons we may feel the need to control situations, micromanage or cling to “our way.” However, Jesus' easy yoke is one where we trust Him with every moment of our lives, living in His strength and not our own. If we are in Jesus’ easy yoke, we won’t feel the need to manipulate or make things happen.

Listening- our life is our school, and Jesus is our teacher. Are we paying attention? Are we listening to what our life and teacher may be telling us? We need to heed the voices of Jesus' easy yoke, not those that lead in another direction.

The easy yoke is available to followers of Jesus. Although it does not take work, it does take intention. As you learn to follow the way of Jesus, you will feel your soul renew, relax and rejuvenate. As you experience that internal rest that only comes from Him, you won’t want to lose it or go back — you will want to abide.

Here’s to learning on the Journey together!

Valerie

The Healthy Soul: Present with God

If you’ve spent much time here with me on the topic of soul care, you will quickly start to see a theme. So much of soul care is about paying attention. We often live at a frenetic pace and if we don’t we often fill our lives with noise. Noise from social media, news, podcasts, and other forms of media. When we are feeling overwhelmed we might go on a vacation or have a staycation where we fill our day with fun things only to hop back on our treadmill called life, shortly after.

While we may be enjoying or trying to enjoy the “good life” we still have that sinking feeling of discontent, stress, anxiety or depression. 

Where have we gone amiss?

In all of our living, it is quite possible that we miss that which is the most life giving, enjoyable part of life: the presence of God.

If you are His child, you have been given the greatest promise known to man: “I will be with you always.” (Psalm 16:8, Joshua 1:9, Matthew 28:20)

Another interesting aspect to soul care is that it is always free, easy and available to all of God’s children. In addition, so many of the ways we can care for our soul are counter to our culture. Spending time with God can actually sound boring, unattainable or something we just don’t have time to do. None of that is true.

The truth is that being intentional about practicing the presence of God is life-giving, life-changing and priceless!

Being intentional to be with God opens your life up to greater love, peace and (en)joyment!

Here are some ways that you can begin to practice the presence of God:

• Every day simply choose to direct your mind toward God. This can be challenging at first as we are used to thinking of other things, but over time you will find that you can actually train your mind to start thinking of God on its own. Ask God to help you.

• Surround yourself with things that remind you of God. This can be as simple as post-it notes in the inside of your kitchen cabinets, on the bathroom mirror or in the car.

• Memorize one or more Scriptures that speak of God’s presence or any Scripture that encourages you in general.

• If you have a Bible reading routine, before you begin, invite God to be with you and direct your time. He is already with you, but I have found it powerful to give the invitation as a way of saying “I want to be with you, I want to know you are here with me.”

• If you practice Sabbath, be intentional to spend time resting just in the presence of God.

• When you pray, don’t end your prayer and move on about your day. Instead, keep the conversation open. You might even say, “I’ll talk to you more in the car, (or kitchen or bathroom or where it is you are going to be).” Before you know it, you will be talking to Him throughout your day without much thought or effort- it will become a habit.

• Lastly, if you want a little more inspiration, check out the little book, “Practicing the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. I recommend the modern version, HERE

As always, it is a great idea to start with God and ask Him how you might be better at being present in God’s presence.

I am confident you will find that growing in His presence makes all of life brighter, better and more as He intended it to be.

Here’s to enjoying His presence on our journey!

Valerie

Cultivating a Healthy Soul: Silence and Solitude

Tired — almost fatigued. Restless. Irritable. Disconnected from God. This summarizes how I was feeling recently on an ordinary day. I could not point to an event or reason that was the cause of these less-than-desirable feelings. But because I am on the well-paved journey of listening to my soul, I stopped and asked myself and God, “What’s going on?” I then had that small, still prompting in my heart that said, “Silence and Solitude.” At that moment, those three words told me the answer and the solution to my problem.

I hope you are also on a journey to Soul health. Just like feeling pain in our bodies indicates a problem, we can listen to our souls as a way of knowing that our soul needs some attention. That day, all my feelings showed me that I needed to stop and ask my Father and Creator what was happening. He made me, knows me, loves me, and gave me the answer and solution that He knew I needed. He knew the answer I wouldn’t have come up with alone. In that moment, He became my Great Physician, healing my soul.

This spiritual discipline does not have to be costly or time-consuming. You don’t have to read a book or take a course to take advantage of its benefits today. Over 60 years ago, C.S. Lewis noted, “We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence….” 

What is Silence and Solitude, and what does it look like?

Practicing the Way explains Silence and Solitude by saying, “Simply put, it's a moment of intentional time in the quiet to be alone with God.” And John Mark Comer, in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, says, “Solitude is when you set aside time to feed and water and nourish your soul.”  

At Soul Shepherding, they explain that “solitude is for being alone with God. It is completed by silence. In other words, if you are practicing solitude and silence, they come together as one experience. The purpose and joy of that experience is time doing nothing except being with God.”

How to practice Silence and Solitude

Here at Intentionally Ordinary, we like to keep things simple, practical, and easy to integrate into your life. So, at this time, I would like to give some simple tips on practicing Silence and Solitude in an easy but impactful way.

One way to start practicing Silence and Solitude is to take advantage of what Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline calls “little solitudes.” When we are paying attention, we can find hidden moments such as: 

1. Those early moments before the family awakes — instead of thinking about the to-do list for the day, grabbing the phone, or even pressing the snooze button, be intentional to lie quietly and focus your mind on God. 

2. Sitting in traffic — instead of listening to music, news, or podcasts, direct your thoughts to God. You don’t have to say or do anything, although I find it helpful to imagine Jesus sitting next to me or imagining myself in a meadow underneath a tree with Jesus. Use your imagination for what feels relaxing and comfortable to you.

3. Mealtimes — if you are by yourself, take a few moments to quiet your body and mind and focus on God and his presence. If you have a family, make it fun for the whole family and invite everyone at the table for a moment of silence. This can even help your children develop this skill at an early age.

As you seek to be more intentional about Silence and Solitude, you can try some of these ideas:

1. Create a “quiet place” to look forward to just “being.” In our home, we have a room where the children rarely play. It has a minimalist feeling, adorned with plants and a big front window for just sitting and enjoying the view. This place naturally brings me peace just by entering into the space.

2. If you have an outdoor area, create a space to be by yourself in the fresh air. This space can be as simple as a chair with a table and a potted plant. This outdoor space can even be a park, or maybe you have a church building or resort area that brings feelings of peace to your heart.

3. Take a Silence and Solitude walk by yourself, and bring intentional focus on seeing God in nature.

As you move deeper into this discipline, you can plan for longer times of planned silence and solitude, which might mean 10 minutes, a partial day, or even longer. Silence and Solitude nourish our souls; as you make it part of your life, your soul will crave it. If you are like me and occasionally get off track in caring for your soul, you will begin to see the signs as I did (with some help) when I felt less than great.

On that recent day when I was struggling, I thanked God for prompting me to spend time with Him in Silence and Solitude. I simply sat in my chair and quieted my body and mind, which led to feeling His presence and refreshing my soul. It was less than 10 minutes of outer and inward rest. So restoring!

Recommended Resources

If you are interested in digging deeper, here are some helpful resources:

Bible verses on Silence and Solitude: https://soulshepherding.org/bible-verses-on-solitude-and-silence/

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Here’s to being on the journey to healthier souls — together!

What is Spiritual Formation and Why Does It Matter?

Christian spiritual formation is defined as the process of being conformed to the image of Jesus for God’s glory and for the sake of others (2 Corinthians 3:17-18). The Holy Spirit is our teacher and helper who guides us to be formed into a person who reflects God to the world in word and deed. As children of God grow in His likeness and character, others can receive the graces of God and have the opportunity to know God, in part, by the actions, words, and life of His children.

As we grow in spiritual maturity, we grow into persons of love who are becoming more like Jesus. Some character identifiers would be compassion, love of God and others, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, and being quick to listen and slow to anger. It is important to note that the goal is not just outward behavior but rather, inner change that results in an outward change. As a Christian, becoming like Christ always includes abiding and submission. It is God who works in us as we place ourselves under His loving care and direction.

There are many pastors and Christian leaders who would agree that Christ-likeness has been on a decline in the western Church in the past several decades. The number of comfortable, consumeristic, and unchanged professed Christians seems to be on the rise. You may even find yourself relating to those who go to church but whose lives are little different than non-Christians around you. There can be a host of reasons that a Christian is not showing signs of growth and change. Here I will briefly list a few roadblocks and then focus on solutions. 

Road Blocks to Spiritual Growth

Roadblocks to spiritual growth can be varied but here are a few that have been common to my experience for me and others I know personally.

1. Lack of desire or apathy

2. A lack of intentionality in spiritual matters

3. Need for healing of past hurts- in and/or outside of the Church

4. A distracted or noisy life

5. Individualism

6. A focus on outward behavior without inward change

7. Pride

Solutions

At Intentionally Ordinary, we are big on committing to small steps in the right direction which over time can make a big impact.  Here are some solutions to the above roadblocks. The solutions are more in quantity than the roadblocks! So many options to help. Again, these are tips that have helped me or others I know personally.

1. Pray for desire! Look up verses about desiring God and transformation (John 4:13-14, Isaiah 26:9, Psalm 73:25, 42:2, 143:8 are a few).

2. Find friends or a community that is excited about being disciples of Christ.

3. Read books about spiritual formation or books about the lives of those who are or have lived a Jesus-filled life.

4. Make intentional time in your life for things that are important to your growth.  This could mean establishing a routine of prayer, Bible reading/study, or worship. This might mean committing to joining a discipleship group, prayer meeting, or regular church attendance. This could mean incorporating spiritual disciplines into your regular routine.

5. Seek out healing from a pastor, soul friend, or Spiritual Director. Pray for God to bring healing in your life.

6. Choose to remove or decrease unhealthy distractions in your life: social media, online games, shopping, and news feeds. Replace distractions with time to spend with Jesus through prayers, reading/study, worship, service to others, time in Christian community, or other disciplines.

7. Admit and confess those areas of your life controlled by individualism.  How much of your life is informed by the word of God vs culture and your own thoughts/opinions? Choose to listen to the teachings of Jesus with the intent of doing them. Cultivate a heart and mind of submission to the way of Jesus.

8. Identify and confess areas of your life that are inconsistent. Do you act one way with one group of people and differently with another group? Do you try hard to be like Jesus on the outside while feeling less than Jesus on the inside?  Seek to live by the strength of the Holy Spirit instead of your own strength.

9. Seek out a healthy community of Believers and engage with them. One of the best pieces of advice that have been life-changing for me is to intentionally be in relationships with those older and wiser AND with those who are younger in age and faith. We should always be being poured into while we are pouring out to others.

10. Do regular pride checks. Learn to identify areas of pride in yourself. Seek to be humble in heart, mind, and soul. Choose to operate in the areas that God has gifted you in.

11. When you learn ways to grow in your relationship with God and ways to grow in spiritual formation — do them! Let what you learn go from your head to your heart.

12. Seek God and seek God some more! He IS the solution!

Books on Spiritual Formation

If you’d really like to dive in, below is a list of books that can help you understand more about spiritual formation and your part in it.

1. The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God, Dallas Willard

2. Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ, Dallas Willard

3. Hearing God, Dallas Willard

4. Surrender to Love, David Benner

5. Celebration of Discipline, Richard J. Foster

6. Invitation to a Journey: A Road Map for Spiritual Formation, M. Robert Mulholland Jr.

7. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, John Mark Comer

Further Resources

We’ve created a few guides to help you along in your spiritual formation journey! Check out our Retreat Guide if you’d like to take that step and set aside intentional time with God or our Habit Formation Guide if you want to start developing regular rhythms of connecting with God in your everyday life.

My hope is that you will start to take steps in the direction of spiritual formation. Remember it is God and the Holy Spirit that does the work as we submit and seek to be formed by Him, into His likeness in character, for our sake and the sake of the world!

Enjoying the journey together!

Valerie