Spiritual Health and Wholeness with the Enneagram

Have you heard of the enneagram? I first heard about it at a Christmas party. I was intrigued by everyone laughing and joking about their “number.” Soon after that party, I took assessments, bought books, and listened to podcasts about this ancient tool used for self-awareness. Many years later, I am excited to have been learning how the enneagram is a valuable tool for spiritual formation, leading to health and wholeness.

Before I start, I want to let you know that if you are a Christian and are against the Enneagram, I am not here to talk you into liking it. If you are here today to learn all the ins and outs of this tool, that is not what you will find here. (But I do want to encourage you to investigate.) If you are here to learn some basics about how the Enneagram, appropriately used, can help you grow in knowledge about yourself, help you grow closer to Jesus, and help you show empathy, compassion, and love to others, then please keep reading.

As I mentioned, the Enneagram is a tool. It is not a necessary resource for humans to flourish. It cannot transform you into Christ-likeness. God does the transforming. A.J. Sherrill, author of The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation, writes, “...as a tool, it has proven to be incredibly useful in revealing what motivates our behavior as humans and in showing whether our choices are leading to health and wholeness.”

Here, we are going to take a brief look at how understanding your number or type can help you to 1) learn more about yourself, 2) grow closer to Jesus, and 3) learn to love others in a more like Jesus does

How The Enneagram Can Help You Learn About Yourself

Once you discover your number, you will find that your personality type has strengths and weaknesses, a core fear, a core desire, and more. In discovering your number, you can learn how you operate in health and unhealth. With this information, you can learn what changes will help you move toward health and wholeness.

For instance, I learned I am a 2w1 (Two, wing One). A two is most commonly called the Helper and is in the heart triad. A Two is often described as loving, caring, and a befriender. Strengths of Twos include being thoughtful, self-sacrificing, and generous. Weaknesses of Twos include neglecting their own needs, being manipulative to get their needs met, and being passive-aggressive when unappreciated.

In learning about myself, I can learn how to make different choices that move me into health and wholeness and closer to the person God intended me to be: the person who is secure in God’s unshakeable love.

How the Enneagram Can Help You Grow Close to Jesus

The Enneagram shows us our core fear, desire, weakness, and longing in each type. When we know ourselves, we can better appreciate how God made us and ask him to help us with our weaknesses, fears, desires, and longing. The goal is to have these areas of our life more in line with his originally intended design for us as image bearers of God. The Enneagram gives us a roadmap to where we need God’s healing most. 

As Christian leaders are experiencing the Enneagram as a helpful tool in Christian life, more and more resources are being made available that pair up specific spiritual practices and scriptures to aid in healthy spiritual formation. 

For instance, Ones struggle with the need to be perfect and right. Scripture that may be helpful to meditate on would include Romans 5:8, “..but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” and Romans 8:1, “Therefore there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” Spiritual practices particularly helpful for Ones include walks in nature and abandoning outcomes to God.

In learning more about myself and God, I can grow closer to Jesus, growing in my understanding of his love for me, my love for him, and my love for others.

How the Enneagram Can Help You Love Others Like Jesus

Learning to love like Jesus is a lifetime endeavor. God is working in us to form us to be a blessing to and for the sake of others. On the path to loving others like God are characteristics such as compassion and empathy. When we understand how people with each of the nine numbers approach life with their core fears, desires, longings, and weaknesses, we can be more understanding, compassionate, and empathetic. We can grow in a greater appreciation of our fellow man; each image bearers of God, with their specific struggles and needs. 

This tool can improve our relationships at home, work, and church. With this tool, we can intentionally communicate with one another with each person's type (number) in mind.

When we have a basic understanding of another’s core weakness, fear, desire, and longing, we can be more patient and understand how they approach life. 

Further Resources

I hope you can see what a valuable tool the Enneagram can be. Of course, like anything else, it needs to be used in a way that brings health and wholeness and is not abused to bring hurt and pain. It is a tool that can be just fun and interesting, but it can also help you thrive in your relationships. It is a tool that can lead to a life filled with more peace and less stress. 

If you want to learn more, I have listed several of my favorite books below, describing their particular focus. I hope you will find one (or two!) that will help you along your journey.

1. Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith by Bill and Kristi Gaultiere — This is my newest enneagram book, written by the founders of Soul Shepherding, where I am receiving my Spiritual Direction training. As the title says, this book shows you ways to grow emotionally and spiritually through understanding the Enneagram. It is so well organized, practical, and easy to read.

2. The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation by AJ Sherrill — This book shows you how knowing ourselves can make us more like Jesus. This book helps show the reader how their personality type shapes their faith journey.

3. The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut — This was my first book on the Enneagram, and as the title states, it is complete and thorough. If you want to be more of an Enneagram expert, this may be the book for you. The book includes topics you don't find everywhere, such as information about subtypes and antitypes. Clear and comprehensive. 

4. Becoming Us by Beth & Jeff McCord — Gospel-centered and focused on the marriage relationship, this book is very practical and thorough in helping you understand how to better be in a relationship with another number. It benefits those with marriage in the near future or those who have been married for decades.

5. The Enneagram in Love and Work by Helen Palmer — This is not a book that I have read cover to cover. Still, it has been constructive and insightful, particularly in helping me understand better the dynamics of working relationships. It is excellent for those who are in leadership or who work in team environments.

Being intentional to take the time to learn about yourself and others for the Kingdom of God is time well spent. I hope what you learn will be as helpful in everyday life as it has been for me.

Neighbor: Giving the Free (and Freeing) Gift of Empathy

I think it is safe to say that most, if not all, of us desire a life of health and happiness. We want it for ourselves, our families, and our loved ones. We might even say we wish health and happiness for our world. Today, I’d like to take you on a path to health and happiness, which starts with a little known and often misunderstood word — empathy.

Empathy is a psychological term meaning the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another. It’s being able to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. 

We will look at how to give empathy, what it is, and what it is not. I will show you how easy it is to love your neighbor by intentionally giving empathy. I will also show you how giving the gift of empathy not only helps the receiver but also has many positive benefits for the giver. Empathy is a win-win for me, you, and our world!

The opportunity for empathy happens with human connection. Human connection is vital to our health and happiness. Many studies show that “prosocial behaviors such as generosity, compassion, and empathy foster the well-being of all parties involved.” Empathy is a human kindness. It is acknowledging the shared experience of our human condition.

What it looks like to give empathy:

• Empathy takes intentionality- an intention to listen, to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and to respond with understanding.

• Empathy can happen in a casual setting, such as an exchange with the clerk at the grocery store. It can happen in intimate conversations with a spouse or loved one.

• Empathy might sound like: “That is hard/challenging/difficult” or “That’s a lot to go through.”

Empathy is:

• listening

• choosing to see through the others’ perspective

• being willing to acknowledge that we can only see from our limited perspective in any given situation

• a kindness that helps others to be seen, heard, and valued

• a gift from one human to another

• a kindness on the path to love

Empathy is not:

• emeshing

• enabling

• condoning bad behavior

• compassion (though closely related)

• sympathy (though closely related)

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

— Amelia Earhart

The benefits of receiving empathy:

• being seen, heard, and valued by another human being

• feeling understood

• feeling cared for

• feelings of peace

• feelings of connectedness and identification with another

• feelings of hope, healing, and worthiness

• feelings of happiness amid difficulty

Benefits of giving empathy:

• increased humility

• the feeling of doing good towards another human being

• connectedness

• selflessness

• Often, what we say to others is what we say to ourselves. If you suffer from being critical of others or yourself, giving empathy is a path to being more accepting and loving towards yourself.

I hope you will look for opportunities to offer empathy. When you intentionally give empathy, you love the person in front of you. You are loving your neighbor. You are adding to the flourishing of your fellow human. You are participating in human kindness. You are making the world better, one connection at a time.

The Practice of Blessing Your Children

Recently, I was listening to a podcast by Intentional Parents. In it, the hosts talk about the benefits of speaking blessing over your children. This can look like simply saying, “You are kind” or “I noticed you sharing; I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

In the Bible, a blessing often looks like a paragraph-long speech foretelling the success of your children. While you can do that, I’ve found great benefit from simply noticing the small things my children do and telling them.

When I started this practice, I had difficulty accepting the task. I thought, “Why would I say things that aren’t true about my kids to them??”. My children are currently 4.5 and 3 years old and definitely in a phase of tantrums and fighting and not sharing. They’re good kids, but I felt most of my time was spent on discipline and correction. I was putting a lot of time into trying to fix behaviors. How can I tell them they’re kind when wrestling each other? How can I call them thoughtful when they refuse to share?

But I found that the more I noticed and called out the small kindnesses in my children, the less they actively engaged in less desirable behaviors.

Blessings work similarly to affirmations. With affirmations, we tell ourselves truths over and over again. Hearing “I am strong” or “I am loved” day in and day out or repeated over a few minutes allows those truths to sink into our core. Over time, we come to believe these things about ourselves. When we know we are loved, we can act in love. When we know we are strong, we can face hardships better.

It’s the same with speaking affirmations to your children. Telling them “you are strong” or “you are loved” day in and day out allows those truths about themselves to take root in their hearts. Soon they’re operating on the truth that they are strong, and kind, and brave, and friendly, and patient. They can act more freely on those characteristics when they know those things to be true.

Children live up to the expectations we put on them. If we expect them to misbehave and be challenging, they will be. If we expect them to be kind, thoughtful, and gentle, they will be. When we see them in their full potential, they can see themselves that way too.

Here are a few steps to begin the practice of blessing your children:

1. Start by noticing. Take the time to watch your children move about their world and interact with peers and family members. Observe the “thank you’s” and the “excuse me’s” and the hugs and the sharing.

2. Call it out. You can say something like, “Thank you for sharing with your sister,” or “I noticed you put away your shoes. That’s so helpful!” or “You’re a great friend.”

3. Repeat it. Make space for blessing every day. Even in the busyness of life, even in the middle of a day full of major toddler meltdowns, find something to bless them with.

Whether you have two-year-olds or twelve-year-olds or even adult children, offering a blessing to your children can make a significant impact on their lives. And honestly, it can change your heart too.

The Old/New Principle: How We Can Gain Wisdom From the Past and Present

As the summer season is coming to a close, along with the wedding season, I am reminded of the wedding rhyme that says, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe.” The ancient rhyme originated in England in the Victorian era and was meant to bring good luck to marriage. Although I’m not a big believer in luck, I think this is a fun tradition and one I partook in at my wedding ceremony many years ago.

Today, I’d like to look at the wisdom in the phrase “something old, something new.” In a culture that always draws our attention to what is new, there is wisdom in remembering and learning from the old. In the older generation, a wish for the old (the way things used to be) and a temptation to resist what is new often grows. The wisdom lies in living and learning from both the old and the new.

I have found that some of the most mature, vibrant, and growing Christians have been those that live out the wisdom of the old and the new. Below are some ways you can lean into this life habit which brings more learning, fulfillment, and understanding. Let us intentionally choose to learn and grow from those things and people who are new or young, as well as to learn from those things or people who are old.

“We are all made of stories.”

Areas to apply the old/new principle:

BOOKS: Famed author C.S. Lewis once said, “It is a good rule after reading a new book, never allow yourself another new one till you have read an old one in between.” I’ve never tried that, but I have also read that every 5th book should be old or a classic. Classic usually refers to a book 20 years or older, but it can also be a book or books that have been widely read in the past (not necessarily 20 years or more).

One area I have found to be very helpful is reading books that are not necessarily old but about people who lived long ago. Reading about those living in different periods, places, and cultures is instructive. In Christianity, it is life-giving and perspective-changing to read from the saints of old. When Hebrews chapter 12 talks about “being surrounded by so great a cloud of witness,” it refers to the Old Testament saints, and now over two thousand years later, can refer to those who have gone before us, 50, 100, or more years ago. 

Here are some books to help us live out the old/new principle:

That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea by Marc Randolph — Written by the co-founder and first CEO, this book goes back to the beginnings of Netflix in 1997. A good book for helping one understand the period in the tech world where start-up was an everyday word.

The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Olympics by Daniel James Brown — A great story that just in the telling of the story gives the reader a good understanding of life in America in the 30s and the events that would change the world forever. 

50 People Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Spiritual Giants of the Faith by Warren W Wiersbe — Inspiring stories 4-6 pages long on each of the 50 people. This is a great book to help pique your interest in reading about some old saints. Contains suggestions for further reading as well.

RELATIONSHIPS: Many years ago, I read in pastor/author Chip Ingram’s book Good to Great In God’s Eyes that it was important for Christians to be in a relationship with someone older and someone younger as well as with those in your age group. As I became and continue to be intentional about my relationships in this way, I have found this to be a model that I highly recommend. For me, someone older is around the same age as my mother or older, and someone younger is an adult who could be my daughter. I have gained so much wisdom and understanding from both groups of friends. This is a model where all parties learn and grow from each other's insights and life experiences. It’s also a model seen throughout the Bible. I like to imagine Mary and Elizabeth and how they both gained wisdom, courage, and encouragement from one another. 

BIBLE READING: Many Bible reading plans, whether daily or yearly, often include reading from the Old and New Testaments. Another fun study is to read the New Testament but find the Old Testament references as they arise. There are approximately 250 references from the Old Testament in the New. You can find various resources for the list of references on the internet.

This principle is also helpful for work, understanding and learning about our cultural context, and product development. 

My hope for you is that if you are a person who tends to seek the new that you will intentionally include the old, and if you are a person who desires primarily the old, you will intentionally also seek out the new. This deliberate shift can bring wisdom, understanding, and encouragement to your ordinary daily life. 

Getting Started With Meal Planning

Meal planning has been integral to my life for many years — even before having kids!

I like to be efficient in grocery shopping and try to run by the store only once weekly, so knowing everything I’ll need beforehand is super helpful to avoid those last-minute grocery runs.

Whether you like to be all planned out or have a lot of flexibility, meal planning can be a great way to clear up some mental space in your week. Sitting down one time to decide your meals for the week will ultimately save you time each day from having to shop and decide on what you want to eat. Less time thinking about and shopping for meals equals more time spent on what matters most to you!

Tips for getting started with meal planning

1. Set aside a time during the week to plan out your meals. This can be the same time every week (I usually plan meals on Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon), or it can be flexible if your schedule looks different every week.

2. Look at your calendar. Plan easy meals on days you have events and more time-consuming dinners on open evenings (if that’s your thing!). Sometimes specific meals should be planned on particular days, and other times, meals can be eaten any day of the week. I usually schedule specific meals for specific days, but sometimes it’s fun to move them around based on my mood or on what sounds the most delicious at the moment!

3. Start with what you have. Look through any produce you may not have used up the previous week. Browse cupboards to see what pantry staples are lying around and plan meals around what’s already in your home. This also helps cut down on food waste and saves money. Win-win!

4. Eat seasonally where possible. Check out this site to see what foods are in season in your area! This helps you save money as these foods are often cheaper in season, helps reduce emissions since the food is often local and doesn’t have to travel as far, and helps us live more in step with our world and its ever-changing seasons.

5. Find recipes. Grab meals from your favorites list, pull out cookbooks, or search the web. I’ve loved Pinch of Yum recently, and Rachael’s Good Eats new cookbook. We also have a highlight on our Instagram with lots of meal plans saved for recipe inspiration!

6. Make a list and shop! Once you’ve compiled your recipes for the week, make a grocery list of every food item you’ll need. Head to your favorite store, and don’t forget to bring your reusable shopping bags!

Make a calendar appointment or set a reminder to do this each week. The more you practice, the easier the habit becomes. Soon enough, you’ll be meal planning like a pro!

Soul Care: The Road to Knowing God

I recently came out of a six-month journey through the book of Philippians. It was a slow journey where I took small portions of Scripture and meditated on them. I would use the Lectio Divina process to reflect, pray through and seek God’s direction for my life with these small portions, week after week, month after month. 

After this time in Philippians, Paul’s deep love for Jesus struck me like never before. As a Pharisee, Paul spent much of his life knowing about God. But when Paul encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus, he began his journey to experientially knowing God.

Even as Christians, we can share a similar experience with the Apostle Paul, where we know much about God without robust growth in knowing God personally and intimately. 

Learning about God and how He has revealed himself in the Bible is essential. But how can we go from knowing about God to knowing Him?

1. Know Jesus — the Bible tells us that to have peace with God, we must know Jesus for who He is. We need to know Him as God come in human flesh, fully God and fully human.

2. Know the Bible — The Bible Project describes the Bible as “a unified story that leads to Jesus.” Knowing, reading, and studying the Bible is a lifelong pursuit in understanding who God is and who I am.

3. Seek to know God — ideally, we seek to know God as soon as we come to know Jesus, but we often find ourselves knowing about Him instead. 

Here are some intentional ways we can grow in our knowing God:

1. Ask Him. Let God know that you want to know Him. If your desire is not what you would like, ask Him for that too.  

2. Make time and space for spending intentional time with God. Practice soul training exercises like taking Sabbath, silence, gratitude, lectio divina, and margin.

3. Live a life of faith. How are you living today that requires faith in God? What evidence is there that you trust in God and not just yourself?

4. Surround yourself with a healthy community of believers. God’s intent has always been community — healthy community. Healthy community is not perfect, but is identified by love, encouragement, and a desire to be like Jesus.

5. Read The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith. An easy-to-read book that helps you identify false narratives about God while encouraging spiritual practices to help you grow.

6. Read Knowing God by J.I. Packer. A Christian classic that is both theological and practical.

7. Grow in prayer. Prayer, at its simplest, is talking to God. Remember to end your prayer with a time of waiting and listening for a response from the Holy Spirit. How is God inviting you to participate with Him today? An excellent resource for this is Practicing the Way’s Prayer Practice with its companion book, Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools, by Tyler Staton.

Knowing God is a journey that can bring peace, joy, and contentment to your soul as you live your everyday life. 

Here’s to enjoying the journey together!

Memorizing Scripture with Young Kids

I’ve recently started memorizing scripture with my daughters (4.5 and 3 years old) using these beautiful scripture memorization cards from Pip & J Papery.

While beautiful cards are not necessary to memorize scripture, these have been a fun visual for our kids to practice this new skill. I have a few tips for memorizing scripture with young kids to share today to help you start your memorization journey!

1. Add memorization to your routine.

   Find a time that works for you to incorporate scripture memorization into your daily routine. This could be over breakfast, driving to school, or before bed. We started adding memorization into our bedtime routine, and it’s been so impactful for us! After jammies, teeth brushing, and Bible reading, we recite our verses before praying and hopping into bed.

2. Practice daily.

   Habits take time to form, so be consistent! Practicing at least once daily to keep up the momentum.

3. Start small.

   All of the scriptures we are memorizing are short sentences. I usually have the kids repeat after me a few times before bed each night to help them remember.

4. Perform for family members.

   If your children like to show off new skills, ask them to recite their verses to a friend or family member! They’ll be proud of their achievements and light up from that positive reinforcement.

5. Make it visual

   Here’s where scripture cards come in! Make your own or find some to buy from various brands. Having the visual helps my daughters connect the alphabet letters with the verse and serves as a reminder for me to practice every night. It’s hard to forget a new routine when it’s in a spot you’ll always see it and be reminded of the practice.

I hope you’ll jump into this simple practice with your children! the Bible tells us it carries so many benefits! “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6 & “I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

Rejuvenate Your Soul: Living in the Easy Yoke

Could your soul use a refresh, revamp, or some rejuvenation?

I think many of us would say yes. Many of us would admit that our souls are tired, worn out, and need an answer to that problem. The good news is that the answer to a soul needing rejuvenation could be as easy as checking on your yoke and making a few simple adjustments. But first, let’s look at what a yoke is and what Jesus means when he uses the term “easy yoke.”

When Jesus was here on earth, teaching his disciples, he said, 

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest [renewal, blessed quiet] for your souls.” (Amplified Bible)

Those who heard those words would be familiar with a yoke at that time. They would call to mind a wooden beam between two oxen (or other animals) that would enable them to pull or carry a heavy load by equally distributing the weight across their shoulders. Those listeners would also be familiar with the yoke as a metaphor for service or submission.

But what does that mean for us today?

Perhaps it is helpful to look at Eugene Peterson’s The Message, which says:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Jesus offers a way of being that results in a rested soul and an internal sense of freedom or lightness, regardless of external circumstances. He is offering himself — a humble, gentle teacher who can show you the way to the kind of life intended for those living in the kingdom of God. Life is often challenging, but the easy yoke is an easier way to do hard things.

This is an invitation that needs to be accepted!

And yet, in a sense, I think many of us, possibly unintentionally, don’t accept the invitation. Or maybe we don’t know what to do or how to do it. Sometimes we intentionally take Jesus’ easy yoke, but over time, we lose our way and find ourselves yoked up with something or someone other than Jesus. Sometimes as we’re going along, we can make certain decisions or do certain things and find ourselves no longer yoked to the easy yoke of Jesus and discover that we are yoked to the lifestyle of Instagram or have yoked up to what our pastor is preaching, or to what our boss expects of us.

We all yoke up with something or someone. We can yoke up with work, influencers, success, and culture, to name a few.

Perhaps you are yoked to Jesus, but your soul still feels worn and tired. If that is the case, here are some areas that may help you identify where some intentional change is needed:

Work(ing)- do you feel the urge or need to earn God’s love? Do you try to look good on the outside, needing to prove yourself to others? If this is a normal feeling for you, you may be carrying the burden of work. You may need to replace lies about earning love with the truth of the unconditional, never-ending love of Jesus.

Under commitment- Dallas Willard wrote, “The general human failing is to want what is right and important, but at the same time not to commit to the kind of life that will produce the action we know to be right and the condition we want to enjoy.” This can be a case of wanting the easy yoke life but being unwilling to commit intentionally to spiritual disciplines, spending time with Jesus, or following his teachings.

Control- there are many reasons we may feel the need to control situations, micromanage or cling to “our way.” However, Jesus' easy yoke is one where we trust Him with every moment of our lives, living in His strength and not our own. If we are in Jesus’ easy yoke, we won’t feel the need to manipulate or make things happen.

Listening- our life is our school, and Jesus is our teacher. Are we paying attention? Are we listening to what our life and teacher may be telling us? We need to heed the voices of Jesus' easy yoke, not those that lead in another direction.

The easy yoke is available to followers of Jesus. Although it does not take work, it does take intention. As you learn to follow the way of Jesus, you will feel your soul renew, relax and rejuvenate. As you experience that internal rest that only comes from Him, you won’t want to lose it or go back — you will want to abide.

Here’s to learning on the Journey together!

Valerie

Ministering to Your Soul: Christian Life Coaching

You are probably familiar with the term coaching. You may have friends or family members who have a financial or health coach. In America, where sports are a big part of our culture, we are familiar with coaches of children's sports and professional sports as well.

Coaching outside of the sports world began growing in the 1980s and 1990s. Companies and individuals began to see an increase in success and productivity as one of the significant benefits of learning from the skills and methods of trained coaches.

Here, I will answer common questions about Christian Life Coaching and share with you ways this coaching can be a valuable part of your intentional life.

What makes Christian Life Coaching different from other kinds of coaching?

Christian Life coaching can come in many forms, but the best Christian coaching should be primarily informed by the direction of the Holy Spirit and aid you in a flourishing life as a follower of Jesus. They should be someone who can help you in any area of your life, professional or personal. 

What is the difference between coaching, therapy, pastoral counseling, and spiritual direction?

Therapy generally attends to areas of mental health and/or issues of the past and how they affect the present. Diagnosis and desire for behavioral change are usually present. Therapists have a graduate degree and state license. Therapy is usually weekly or bi-monthly.

Pastoral counseling usually attends to spiritual or relational problems. A Pastor will often have a degree in theology or similar religious studies. Pastoral counseling is usually short-term as needed.

Spiritual Direction primarily attends to spiritual struggles, discernment, and areas of spiritual formation. Spiritual Directors should be certified in spiritual direction, and many have degrees in other areas of study. Spiritual Direction is usually monthly or bi-monthly.

Coaching primarily helps a person get from where they are to where they desire to go as inspired by God. Goals for improving awareness, effectiveness, and competence in personal life, spiritual life, leadership, or work are also present. Coaching is usually monthly or bi-monthly.

“Coaching deals mostly with a person’s present and seeks to guide him or her into a more desirable future”

— Patrick Williams and Diane S. Menedez, Institute for Life Coach Training

How do I know if coaching might be beneficial to me?

Coaching may be the answer you need if you feel stuck in any area of your life.

Coaching topics include (but are not limited to) work, education, pursuits, prioritization, relationships, and health. Any area in which you would like to see progress and transformation would be a reason to consider coaching.

What could I expect from a coaching session?

Prayer, intentional listening, encouragement, empathy, goals, and next steps are all part of a valuable coaching session. Sessions are usually 45-60 minutes in duration. The amount of sessions needed is based on your individual needs.

Part of my training as a Christian Life Coach includes receiving coaching myself. Having never received coaching until now, I can tell you that it has been personally rewarding. Meeting with an empathic, trained listener who is able to help me move from the high view of my struggles to actionable steps has been valuable.

Christian Life Coaching can be life-giving for you and the care of your soul. 

Enjoying the journey of soul care together!

Valerie

As I continue my education as a Spiritual Director, I (Valerie) am also about to complete my classroom training for certification as a Christian Life Coach from Soul Shepherding Ministries.

To find out more about Soul Shepherding, click HERE. If you would like a free 15-minute Q&A with Valerie on spiritual direction or Christian life coaching, you can contact me HERE.

The Healthy Soul: Present with God

If you’ve spent much time here with me on the topic of soul care, you will quickly start to see a theme. So much of soul care is about paying attention. We often live at a frenetic pace and if we don’t we often fill our lives with noise. Noise from social media, news, podcasts, and other forms of media. When we are feeling overwhelmed we might go on a vacation or have a staycation where we fill our day with fun things only to hop back on our treadmill called life, shortly after.

While we may be enjoying or trying to enjoy the “good life” we still have that sinking feeling of discontent, stress, anxiety or depression. 

Where have we gone amiss?

In all of our living, it is quite possible that we miss that which is the most life giving, enjoyable part of life: the presence of God.

If you are His child, you have been given the greatest promise known to man: “I will be with you always.” (Psalm 16:8, Joshua 1:9, Matthew 28:20)

Another interesting aspect to soul care is that it is always free, easy and available to all of God’s children. In addition, so many of the ways we can care for our soul are counter to our culture. Spending time with God can actually sound boring, unattainable or something we just don’t have time to do. None of that is true.

The truth is that being intentional about practicing the presence of God is life-giving, life-changing and priceless!

Being intentional to be with God opens your life up to greater love, peace and (en)joyment!

Here are some ways that you can begin to practice the presence of God:

• Every day simply choose to direct your mind toward God. This can be challenging at first as we are used to thinking of other things, but over time you will find that you can actually train your mind to start thinking of God on its own. Ask God to help you.

• Surround yourself with things that remind you of God. This can be as simple as post-it notes in the inside of your kitchen cabinets, on the bathroom mirror or in the car.

• Memorize one or more Scriptures that speak of God’s presence or any Scripture that encourages you in general.

• If you have a Bible reading routine, before you begin, invite God to be with you and direct your time. He is already with you, but I have found it powerful to give the invitation as a way of saying “I want to be with you, I want to know you are here with me.”

• If you practice Sabbath, be intentional to spend time resting just in the presence of God.

• When you pray, don’t end your prayer and move on about your day. Instead, keep the conversation open. You might even say, “I’ll talk to you more in the car, (or kitchen or bathroom or where it is you are going to be).” Before you know it, you will be talking to Him throughout your day without much thought or effort- it will become a habit.

• Lastly, if you want a little more inspiration, check out the little book, “Practicing the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence. I recommend the modern version, HERE

As always, it is a great idea to start with God and ask Him how you might be better at being present in God’s presence.

I am confident you will find that growing in His presence makes all of life brighter, better and more as He intended it to be.

Here’s to enjoying His presence on our journey!

Valerie